The winning entry is followed by the judge's report.

Yesterday

By Jess Vandersande, Boonah State High School


Somedays,
I swear she was born
with a piano at her fingertips.
Her life was a melody no one
bothered to write down,
but listened anyway.
I could catch her smile against
the ridges of my palm and
Hold it close, hide it away where
the world could not touch it

And I swear, she could hold please stay
with the tip of her tongue and could
Twist it into something
Permanent.

Somedays,
I swear her skin mapped out
the stars of a nighttime sky
Her spine, ridged, mimicking the
hollows of the moon, yet,

she was my sunset.
She rose and fell at my horizons
Laying claim to all illuminated by herself.
She was my unspoken forgiveness
My shaking hands and dampened cheeks
My rise and fall of restless lungs
The sinking weight of withheld words;
my love was an understatement, and
one I never failed to mispronounce.

Somedays, we
planned our future in the past and
forgot that time doesn’t need to catch its breath
quite like we do.
Goodbye hit me like a beating and
I’m sorry was a line of bruises, littering
the very parts of me I saved for her,
wrapped in the ribbons of
what could have been
Held close in the fingers that curl over what was,
Knuckles white against one day, and
Hopes strung against the backdrop of I promise.

 

And I promise
this skin still burns under sunset’s touch and
splits under yesterday’s broken trust.

And somedays,
Her life was a melody I told myself
I could write down, only
I could never hold the notes of her
In a way that truly seemed to matter.

She was my someday, left
yesterday.

 

Judge’s Report

Pam Schindler

There was great variety in the poems submitted for Section A.  I was impressed by their honesty and delight in language.  Themes included love and friendship, identity, inner and outer worlds; some looked back to the certainties of childhood, and some set out into the unknown.  In their various forms, they explored feeling and experience.

Sound is an important element of poetry, and the most successful poems were flowing and rhythmic, but without using rhyme.  Some poems used rhyme successfully, but others were hampered by it.  In my view it’s better not to rhyme than to let rhyme force you into awkward expression.

There was wonderful, vivid imagery, and this was a delight to read.  Some poems achieved that seemingly-effortless slipping between idea and image, or between one sense and another, which is such a fine thing in poetry.

Poetry works best (again, in my view) with the immediate material of life, rather than abstraction, so it was good to see poems gathering in details of the poets’ lives, including birds, snakes, tattoos, quad bikes, mud flats and mangoes, as well as loss, religion, myth.

A few technical comments:

• “A poem should not mean, but be.” (Archibald MacLeish)  A poem embodies meaning, but can go astray when it starts explaining it to us.  The most successful poems avoided explanations and commentary.
• Some of the poems were closer to song lyrics than poems, and might work well as songs.  But songwriting has different conventions, and a poem has less room for cliché, and wants more precision.
• Some poems began with a few lines where, I think, the poet was finding his/her way into the subject; often such lines are best pared away later, to reveal the true beginning of the poem.
Congratulations to all the poets.  It was a pleasure and a privilege to read your work. 


A few years ago, I wrote this little poem about a poetry competition:

Poetry Competition in an Olympic Year

some points will be awarded
for technical difficulty
in the chosen dive

but what the heart applauds
more than the twists and somersaults
is the pure line followed truly

finishing in deep water
with barely a surface splash

and an afterimage
of flight

Thank you for the chance to read your poems, whose “afterimages of flight” will stay with me.

Pam Schindler
6 September 2013

Upcoming Events

Short Stories - Year 11

Emma Monfries and Kiri Lucas will present some practical activities and observations from Unit 2: Texts and Culture.  With these activities, students can conceptualise in concrete ways the relationship between place and culture, for example, through layered maps, and to convey this in texts such as short stories.  Students can a...

Start Time:   9:00 AM
Date:   Saturday 15th February 2020
Venue:   Ryan Catholic College
Email Enquiries:   trish.purcell@bigpond.com


An Afternoon with Christine Hills

The Darling Downs Branch will present an Afternoon with Christine Hills and the Collins Writing Program on Wednesday, 26 February, 2020. Afternoon tea will be served from 3:15 to 3:45 pm. This workshop will allow teachers and school leaders an opportunity to: Explore elements of grammar that are central to good writing and align w...

Category:   Seminar
Start Time:   3:15 PM
Date:   Wednesday 26th February 2020
Venue:   St Ursula's - Toowoomba
Email Enquiries:   trish.purcell@bigpond.com


March Seminar 2020: Diving Deep into Story

Literature is the lifeblood of the English classroom and we all endeavour to make our classrooms creative spaces, helping students to experience the pleasures of responding to and creating literature. This seminar will explore diverse ideas related to creativity in English. The keynote address will be presented by Assoc. Professor Kim Wil...

Category:   Seminar
Start Time:   8:10 AM
Date:   Saturday 21st March 2020
Venue:   Griffith University TBC
Phone Enquiries:   0455464000


Tony Hytch presents

Tony will present a session on getting students assessment ready for Essential English. Further details are on the flyer.

 

Category:   Seminar
Start Time:   9:00 AM
Date:   Saturday 2nd May 2020
Venue:   Pimlico High School


Early Career Conference 2020: Diving Deep into Teaching

This event for teachers in their first firve years of teaching and those who are new to the teaching of English will submerge you in a new, colourful, and enchanting world where you can engage with your peers. it is also a 'not to be missed' event for preservice teachers.  For those who are interested in offering a presentati...

Category:   Seminar
Start Time:   9:00 AM
Date:   Saturday 9th May 2020
Venue:   To be confirmed


< Previous | 1 | 2 | 3 | Next >
View all

English Educator of the week

Lindsay Williams and the Analytical Essay

 

This session will be repeated at Aquinas College on Tuesday 28 April 2020.

View all

Blog Feed

Grammar myths

Sep 12 2017
An edited version of the letter below was pu...

Impact on learning

Sep 12 2017
The following letter was submitted to The Au...
Read all

PO Box 3375, STAFFORD,
Queensland, Australia, 4053
(07) 3284 3718
ABN: 17 689 278 512

Connect to a great range of people who are passionate about English and have their finger on the pulse.

Be Connected